I am suicidal. I don’t have a plan, but my brain has been wired this way for as long as I can remember. As a small child, I remember thinking about death. I’d always wonder if I came home and found my parents or sisters dead on the floor. It wasn’t until I was 14 that I had the thoughts of death towards myself. I remember thinking that nobody would care, nobody would notice, nobody loved me, nobody wanted me. I was too young to process what any of it meant or how severe the situation itself was, but that’s all I knew. I thought it was normal to think that way. To this day, I am suicidal. I haven’t attempted since New Years Eve of 2019. Couldn’t tell you if I was going to attempt again. I don’t want to, and I’ll do everything I can to prevent it.

Posted by Cole Callender at 2022-11-09 05:37:57 UTC